Especially in our generation, everything is about finding fulfilment and your purpose in life. I think it’s beautiful but what does “finding your life purpose” actually mean and how does it work? I think too many people look for their life purpose in the things that other people are doing. With social media, we are now more prone to comparing ourselves than ever before. You might scroll through social media and think “Wow, this person looks super happy as an influencer, I should do the same”. However, you don’t even know if this person is really happy and whether that job would fulfil you. There is just no one-size-fits-all because we’re all so different and unique.
I find that the most important prerequisites for finding your life purpose are:
Self-awareness definitely is one of the keys to finding your life purpose! It’s all about doing the inner work first. When you take the time to get to know yourself more and have crystal-clear self-awareness, you know what you want to do and what your values are.
Here’s a quick exercise you can do: Write down your top 5 core values in your journal or on a piece of paper. This is a super simple exercise but many people who do it realize that they never really thought about this before.
When I was younger and not into personal growth, I was more guided by other people and their opinions than by my own values. I studied a business degree and thought I would end up in a bank or consultancy.
Now it makes me laugh when I think of it because it’s no surprise that I was unhappy. It simply didn’t have anything to do with my most important values. Reputation and status symbols don’t matter as much to me, yet I thought that this would make me happy. Once I spent more time with myself and got to know me better (through books, journaling and meditation), I realized that I had to change my life completely.
Why I mention self-love here is for the following reason. When you really love yourself, you’re not prone to other people’s judgement anymore. When you don’t need their approval, you are more likely to take risks and start doing the things you love. I think there are many people out there, and you might be one of them, who want to do something amazing with their life, something that’s unconventional and outside of most people’s comfort zones.
Since other people sometimes don’t want you to grow, you might tell them about it and they might say that it’s a stupid idea. If you don’t love yourself fully and have enough confidence, you easily get discouraged and let other people’s opinions get in the way between you and your dreams. I think it’s so so sad!! So PLEASE, if your heart tells you to do something, don’t hesitate any longer. If you’re still susceptible to other people’s judgement, it helps to simply not tell anybody about it and take action anyways. You don’t need anybody’s permission.
So let’s start with the 6 reasons why you haven’t found your life purpose yet:
6 Reasons Why You Haven’t Found Your Life Purpose Yet
1. You think that your life purpose is super hard to find
Many people believe that finding their life purpose is something super hard. They have the limiting belief of “It’s possible for only a few people to find their life purpose and I’m not one of them”. The problem here is that your outer world always reflects your inner world. Our thoughts are powerful. So if you are already sure that you won’t find it, it will probably happen in this way. There are still some limiting beliefs that you can allow yourself to work on and resolve. When you’re not sure if you have any limiting beliefs, try this exercise:
Sit with yourself in stillness and ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I open-minded enough and allow myself to live my purpose?
- Do I allow myself to think outside the box?
- Do I allow myself that my purpose could be something I haven’t considered so far? (maybe even something my ego wouldn’t like so much)
Instead of telling yourself that your purpose is super hard to find, tell yourself this instead:
It’s fun and easy to find my purpose. I’m already on the way to creating my purpose. There is absolutely no doubt about it that it will happen, I am open for it. I can already feel it even though it’s not fully visible in my reality.
You can use these sentences as journaling affirmations. It’s best to repeat them as often as possible, until your subconscious mind fully “gets” it.
2. You think that you don’t have anything valuable to share with the world
I think this reason is pretty sad. We often make ourselves so small and think that we have nothing valuable or special to share with the world. This is a lie we tell ourselves and a self-sabotaging belief. You are your worst critic but if you ask other people, they would find so many things you’re good at and that would make the world a better place. I always love when people share their passion with the world and it makes me really sad to see that some really amazing people who don’t even try to live their purpose because they think it’s not special enough or there’s too much of that already out there. I also could have thought “There are already so many personal growth blogs out there. So why bother starting, even if I’m super passionate about it.”
Trust me, you are unique in this world and not everybody resonates with the same person or service. There is a reason why people want to listen to you. The beautiful thing about your life purpose is that it does not only fulfil you but it also gives value to other people, it’s basically a win-win-situation.
Also, start seeing yourself as the hero or heroine of your own life. Look at your past and realize what you already went through and how many things you have accomplished. You have your own life story that can help other people who are going through the same thing at the moment.
You can use the following questions for self-reflection:
- What were the defining moments in your life (maybe challenges you had to overcome) and how did you deal with it?
- When were the moments in your past in which you felt really happy, fulfilled and alive?
3. You think that your life purpose has to be one specific thing
Another misconception is that your life purpose has to be something very easy, clear and distinct; for example becoming a lawyer. While that might be the case for some people, it doesn’t work this way for the majority of people. Often, your life purpose is composed by many talents and abilities of yours. Maybe you are good at writing but also at painting, so you could combine the two in some way. It might also be that you are not only good at dancing but are a good story-teller, so you can do both by telling a story with your dance. It’s important to remember that you are unique! There is not a single person in the world who has the exact same character and abilities as you. Start CREATING and doing more of the things you are passionate about. I think the term “finding” your life purpose can sometimes be misleading. It’s nothing that you find in some divine moment, it’s something that you live and create. It can only come into fruition if it’s created by you.
4. You compare yourself too much to others
Let’s talk about a seriously dangerous thing here – the comparison with other people. Maybe I’m too dramatic but for me personally the following scenario is kind of heart-breaking. Do you know what happens when you always look at what others are doing? You literally MISS your own unique path. It’s even more dangerous now because you can see 24/7 on social media and stories what other people are up to. So if you have an idea, you might try to copy other people. You see what they’re doing and think: “Hm, I should do this because person X is also doing it” and or “I have to also do this /implement this/learn more about this…” Please don’t do that! It will not only direct you away from your own path, you will eventually also lose the passion and fun you initially felt. Instead, listen to your intuition and ask yourself the following question:
What do I want to do?
Yep, it’s about what YOU want to do. Not your parents, not your friends, YOU! Your purpose is about your own essence and what you are here for. Don’t end up living other people’s life. Btw, that’s one of the top five regret of the dying.
Plus, when you live a life that is true to yourself and do things your own way, everyone wins! People are not stupid. They feel when you do something because you’re wholeheartedly in it and if you’re not, they will feel that as well.
You might also like: 10 Ways To Stop Caring So Much What Other People Think
5. You don’t make finding your purpose a priority
When you want to find your life purpose, it’s important to make it a priority and really reflect on it and try different things. As hard as it sounds, when you only dream about something, it will only stay a dream. Action is the key here! Tom Bilyeu once mentioned the concept of the “empty dreamer” and I decided in that moment that I didn’t want to be one. Write down the things that come really easy to you. If you are passionate about something and are good at it, take more action it and who knows, maybe that is already your life purpose. We are often in this bubble and think that what we are good at is “normal” and comes easy to everyone. Just try it out and take action! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your purpose is already inside of you and just waits to be created by you- you have to make it a priority and do the inner work.
6. You let perfectionism get in the way
Unfortunately, perfectionism can be deeply ingrained in us and it holds so many people back. It’s based on the following fears:
- The fear of not being good enough
- The fear of rejection
Fear is something that stops so many people. We think that in order to start something new in our lives, we already have to be “perfect” at it. It was also one of my limiting beliefs that was holding me back for a long time. For example, I was scared of being visible/of showing myself to other people and be vulnerable around personal growth topics. I thought that I wasn’t important enough and that nobody would listen anyways. It’s a fight with your ego. It will never stop completely but the courage to take the steps will be so rewarding, even if your ego hates it.
The universe will always test you if you can make decisions from a place of love or if you’re still trapped in your ego. Your purpose is something that will always challenge you. While it will never be easy, you will grow so much as a person.
So if you want to start doing youtube videos, don’t wait for that “perfect” moment until you’re really good at it. Start somewhere and go from there. It’s gonna make you so much stronger and wiser than you were before. Like a rollercoaster, your purpose is on the other side of fear. You have to go through the fear.
Ask yourself the question:
What would I do if I didn’t have my limiting beliefs? Where would I be now?
I hope this article brought you closer to your life purpose and gave you some inspiration for what to do. If you take one thing from this article, please remember the following:
There’s no such thing as the “perfect” time. Don’t wait for something to change in your outer world. Create it yourself by taking action right now and do it despite the fear. This topic is so near and dear to my heart because I want to see everyone in the world happy and living their purpose. At the same time, please don’t stress yourself too much about finding your life purpose and also be present and happy in the now.
When you show yourself with the value that you have for the world, everybody wins.
I hope you’re having a beautiful day and I’m sending you lots of love,