Hey love,
Do you sometimes think that the way you are is not good enough? Then repeat after me and say it out loud:
I AM GOOD ENOUGH ♡
Because you actually are.
Feeling like you’re not good enough is something many people are struggling with. However, it’s important to remember that you were not born thinking that way. It’s something you were conditioned to believe. After all, if we’re not super conscious and mindful of what’s happening (which nobody is 100% of the time), we are susceptible to a loft of self-harming programming as we go through life.
From a young age we think that we have to be and do everything as “perfect” as possible to keep up with the rest of the world an be good enough. I have been there too and I’m still working every single day to not let myself fall into this trap again.
Plus, your brain believes everything you tell it when you repeat it often enough.
So if you repeat these negative, self-destructive thought patterns long enough, you will begin to think that this is the real you when actually, it’s not.
When you identify yourself as someone who is not worthy or good enough, it tends to also drive your actions and therefore manifest in your reality. It then becomes like a never-ending cycle of feeling not good enough, getting confirmation in the outside world and, in turn, feeling again like you’re not good enough.
Or you might be someone who constantly seeks praise and approval from the people around you.
Since you are not conscious of your own worth yet, you keep seeking validation. You might not even be aware of it because it can play out in behavior like asking other people for their opinions all the time, instead of trusting yourself and just going for it. I used to do this a lot and it was holding me back BIG TIME!!
Story Time
Especially as a child in elementary school and the first years of high school, I always thought I wasn’t good enough, simply because I didn’t fit. While teachers liked me for my academic achievements, they told me I was too shy, too quiet, too sensitive and that I should better adapt to the group. They were basically telling me that being myself was not good enough and that I had to change in order to be liked and accepted.
That changed over time and I became a lot more outgoing, but other people telling you that something is wrong with you, still hurts. I’m an INFJ and an empath. I tend to absorb the energies around me and by spending enough time by myself, I recharge my batteries. just need enough time to myself to recharge my batteries. It’s just the way I am.
Luckily, I survived these times and today I’m a confident and strong woman who knows that being different is my superpower and that there’s no need to change my personality.
Here Are The Good News
YOU CAN BREAK OUT OF THIS CYCLE.
It’s time to stop letting these self-harming thoughts make you feel emotionally oppressed.
You are the author of your own life. Since you’re the one writing your story, you also have the power to rewrite it.
And this powerful change starts from within.
I love this quote by Carl Jung:
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams: Who looks inside, awakes.
It’s my purpose to help and empower others. I want you to feel your best self and learn to fully love and accept the amazing person you are. So I put together a list of the things that will help you to stop thinking you’re not good enough.
HOW TO FINALLY STOP THINKING YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH
1. Use Self-Empowering Language
Just like negative self-talk can harm your sense of self-worth, positive self-talk can empower you and push your self-esteem.
A powerful exercise you can do is to write down positive affirmations that help you remind yourself of your amazingness. (I always do it in the morning as a part of my morning routine)
Here are some examples to give you an idea:
- All is always well
- I am confident and capable
- I know who I am and I am enough
2. Stop Over-Identifying With External Things
I know it’s perpetuated by society and the media but remember:
You are not your looks.
You are not your body type.
You are not your job, your possessions or social status.
You are so much more than that.
All these things are fragile and could be gone, so it’s very dangerous and unhealthy to attach your self-worth to them.
Instead, know that you have inherent worth and rather than identifying yourself with external things, focus on your inner world and your personal development.
I always think to myself: Even if everything on the outside goes downhill, I still have my inner values that I’m proud of. Nothing in the world can take things like compassion, kindness, empathy or inner strength away from you.
3. Practice Self-Care
What I learned from my self-care practice is that it really does make you feel better about yourself and helps increase your confidence.
Self-care could be taking one hour a day just for yourself. You could do things like drawing, meditating, reading, journaling, exercising…anything you’re passionate about and that makes you happy.
Think about it like this:
When you practice self-care, you’re basically saying that your mental and physical health is important to you. By working on becoming your best self, you focus on the good things in life and when you focus on the good, the good gets better.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I know it’s easier said than done but it’s really important to stop this toxic habit. Next time you see a picture of a successful person on Instagram don’t think:
Why am I not like her? What am I doing wrong? I’m not doing well enough.
Instead, catch yourself and don’t even start to engage in the drama your brain wants to create. Simply be happy for this person.
Also ask yourself:
What would the highest, most empowered version of myself do?
Your highest, most empowered version acts from a place of love and always gives the best advice. I feel like your true self/your highest self feels compassion and kindness which have the power to weed out any envy (created by your ego).
Also know that there is no need for comparison because we are all individuals and everyone is on their own path.
You are amazing just the way you are with all your quirks and flaws (PS: They make you even more lovable).
There’s only one YOU in this world. So focus on yourself and your own work. Comparing yourself to others is just a waste of time and a distraction from your own powerful and UNIQUE path!
5. Be authentic
When you choose to be someone you’re not, you’re to some extent also degrading yourself by thinking that you’re unacceptable the way you are.
Trust me, once you decide to show up authentically, you’ll realize how good and ohh so right it feels to act in alignment with your heart and soul.
Do you know this scene in “The Lion King” where Mufasa tells Simba to remember who he is?
Remember who you are
At the end of the day, you want other people to love you for The REAL YOU.
By being yourself, you allow other people to appreciate you for the person you truly are.
and believe me, showing up as your authentic self is the best decision you can make. It will make you feel so much happier and in alignment with your essence.
Finally, Repeat the Following Statement Out Loud:
I am enough. I am worthy. I am love
I’m sending you so much love. Have a beautiful day! xo
Jennifer
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