why is getting to know yourself so important?
Let me start today’s blog post by asking you this question:
How well do you really know yourself?
Let that sink in for a minute. I’m not asking for the superficial things like your favorite food or piece of clothing, but about your deepest hopes, dreams and fears.
From my experience, one of the best ways to gain confidence and find purpose in life, is to deeply get in touch with your soul and who you are really.
We often think we know ourselves already but how much of it is actually hidden beneath social programming and the limiting beliefs we have acquired throughout our lives?
95 % of what we do as adults is based on the subconscious material that was downloaded up until the age of seven.
While we think that we are conscious human beings and adults, that “conscious” part of our brain is only active 5% of the time. The rest of our behavior is deeply determined by our past experiences and habits. This is also the reason why it’s so hard for us humans to change our lives. It just feels so much more comfortable to remain the same and operate on the same program. There is also a great quote that describes this phenomenon. I don’t remember who wrote it but if you happen to know, feel free to tell me in the comments.
People will choose common misery over uncommon happiness.
But is misery really more comfortable than happiness?
The answer is: It depends on whether you think short-term or long-term.
As crazy as it may sound to our rational minds, it’s really often more comfortable to be miserable than happy – BUT only in the short run.
Ever felt miserable because you ate waaaay too much chocolate again even though you promised yourself not to?
It might feel good and comfortable in the moment to make that choice but the long-term effects are quite bad.
The strength lies in developing discipline and overcoming instant gratification.
When we operate on auto-pilot and forget to ask the deep questions, it can also feel as if life is just passing us by. In my opinion, us humans need goals to thrive.
So yes, in the short-term we often choose common misery but it’s a much better strategy to leave our comfort zones. When we are brave enough to choose the “unknown” (aka uncommon happiness), we see what we are really made of.
What happened in my life when I started asking deeper questions
For a very long time, I was the kind of person who just lived life on autopilot. I would only look for answers in the external world, never internally. I thought that if certain things make other people happy, they will probably also make me happy. However, this couldn’t have been further from the truth. So I ended up studying a degree I wasn’t passionate about and had friendships that weren’t doing me any good. It’s only when I started learning about myself more that I also uncovered my life purpose.
Everything you need is already inside of you
Believe it or not but the answer already lies inside of you. When you’re reading this and feel resistance and think that “this can’t be true”, that’s actually very normal. You’re resistant to this thought because we have been conditioned to always look for answers in the outside world.
Want to feel happier? Buy the latest product.
Want to feel accepted? Get a prestigious job
Want to feel beautiful? Put on make-up and the latest clothes
Want to feel admired? Post a beautiful photo of you on Instagram and get approval
Do you see the pattern? Most people won’t tell you that there are much better ways to feel happy, accepted and beautiful and here’s a little hint to always remember:
It all starts with YOU!
25 Questions that will help you to get to know yourself deeper
In order to get to know yourself better, you can either reflect on the questions in your mind or write your answers down in a journal. I personally prefer the latter. It’s interesting to read your answers years later and look at how much your beliefs and thoughts have changed.
That being said, I want you to know that as humans, we always change and evolve. So the answers to your questions will probably change over the years but one thing will probably always stay the same: Your core values.
So let’s start with the questions:
1. If you could picture your ideal life, what would it look like?
2. What are 3 things in your life that make you feel truly alive?
3. What is your biggest dream?
4. What would “achieving this dream” mean to you? What kind of person would you need to become in order to make that happen?
5. Which 5 attributes describe you best?
6. What are three things you love about yourself?
7. What gets you excited about life?
8. What is something you take for granted that you shouldn’t?
9. What are some limiting beliefs that are holding you back?
10. What’s your biggest fear in life?
11. Is it a rational fear or is it actually very unlikely to happen?
12. In which environments do you thrive the most?
13. What can you do today that you were not capable of one year ago?
14. What would you do differently if you knew that nobody in the world would judge you?
15. What’s the difference between living and existing?
16. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be friends with you?
17. Which activities make you lose track of time?
18. If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be?
19. Imagine your 80 year-old self sitting on a porch. What will matter to her/him the most when looking back at life?
20. Who never fails to put a smile on your face?
21. Which one is worse for you? Failing or never trying?
22. What’s something that makes you different from most people?
23. What is the number one thing you want most in your life?
24. How have your priorities changed over time?
25. What impact do you want to have on the world? What will be your legacy?
I hope answering these questions for yourself has helped you gain a better understanding of your essence, your soul. We are all unique individuals with amazing gifts to give to the world. So I want to ask you one final question: In which ways are you hiding your gifts from the world?
I’m asking this because once again, I used to be that person who was hiding her gifts from the world. I thought that by hiding my “true self” and trying to be like the rest, it would make me safe from any rejection or negative emotions. Little did I know that the opposite was the case.
Yes, showing yourself exactly as you are with all your vulnerabilities takes courage but it’s the best thing you can do for yourself and the world.
By getting to know yourself deeper and building a relationship with yourself, you will see how lovely you are and what you are here to create.
I’m so happy and grateful to guide you on this journey.
Lots of love,
PS: Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments