Being bigger than your insecurities makes it 100 times easier to be kind to yourself and take action on your dreams. But do you know what that ONE THING is that is stopping most people from going after their dreams?
It’s fear. No question has ever killed more dreams this one:
What will they think?
I have been there too and it’s still something I’m working on every single day. When I first started my blog, I was crippled by fear and the thought of putting myself out there for everyone to see was so scary that I almost let it stop me – but luckily, only “almost”.
So what does it actually mean to be “stronger than your fears and bigger than your insecurities”?
First of all, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have fears. It’s a natural thing and everyone has fears because your brain wants to keep you in the realm of the known where it’s safe and comfortable for you.
So being stronger than you fears doesn’t mean that you don’t have fears but it means that you take action DESPITE the fear.
It means that even though you know that the fear will always be there, you decide to not let it stop you.
Since this is one of the most important life lessons, I felt such a strong urge to write about this and share with you the tips that are working for me:
HOW TO BE STRONGER THAN YOUR FEARS AND BIGGER THAN YOUR INSECURITIES
1. Know that you are not alone with this
The first important thing to realize is that you are not alone. You can ask every person in the world who went after their dreams and you will always hear them talk about how scared they were in the beginning (and yep, still are from time to time).
I have listened to so many podcasts of mega-successful people and this was always, always, always the common denominator.
What truly separates these people from others is that they never ever gave up and kept believing in themselves, even if other people tried to put them down. So in case you’re feeling alone with where you’re at, I highly recommend reading books of people who are already living the life you want to live.
Nobody starts as a pro and has it all figured out. Remind yourself the next time you feel like beating yourself up for experiencing this kind of fear.
Being scared before starting something bold and new is normal. It doesn’t make you any less likely to succeed.
2. “What is the cost of inaction?”
Whenever you feel like giving into fear, think about the cost of inaction. Think about your 90-year-old self sitting on a porch, reflecting on your life..
She or he will be so grateful that you went all-in on what’s important to you instead of living a life full of regret where you lost your own voice and intuition to the masses.
Here are two practical exercises you can do:
- Write down your vision and what your contribution to the world will look like every single day. It might sound daunting but it will only take up 5 minutes of your day and your dreams should be worth that.
- Develop a relationship with your future-self and write letters to her/him. It can also work the other way round. Whenever I’m looking for guidance that comes from my soul and intuition, I’m thinking of my future self and what advice she would give me
3. Don’t let perfectionism get in the way
Never let perfectionism get in the way of your dreams.
One of the biggest ways you’re holding yourself back is by being a perfectionist. As a recovering perfectionist myself, I have learned what it really means and what perfectionism always leads to – procrastination (and who likes the feeling you get from procrastinating? Right, nobody).
What does perfectionism actually mean?
True perfectionism tends to be rooted in a fear of failure. You are scared of the consequences of putting yourself out there and the rejection and disappointment that could come from it. However, by being stuck in this mindset, you will only get frustrated with yourself.
Here are some negative side-effects of being a perfectionist :
- A very strong need to be accepted. Deep down, you think that not showing up as a “perfect human being” (e.g. having it all figured out, always having a super clean house, portraying a flawless picture of yourself to the outside world) will lead to you not being accepted anymore.
- A lack of self-love. If you hold yourself to such high standards, you are very prone to judge yourself heavily (and others) which can lead to a constant feeling of not feeling good enough, when in reality, you are
4. Start taking imperfect yet consistent action
One of the best ways to be bigger than your insecurities is to take imperfect yet consistent action.
When I first started this blog, I had this picture in my head of how perfect everything had to be and look like. I would spend so many hours re-editing posts and doing “busy-work” that didn’t move me forward. Maybe you can relate.
How many times do we clean our house or do something else that seems productive to avoid what would really move us forward?
It’s one of those protection mechanisms of our mind. After all, it’s much easier to hide and do busy work in the background instead of showing yourself fully and authentically to the world.
This quote by Elizabeth Gilbert helped me so much and I hope it does the same for you:
You must learn how to become a deeply-disciplined half-ass.
There are basically two options:
- You spend hours thinking about how things could be and overcomplicate the process by expecting to already have everything figured out. You experience analysis-paralysis and in the end, you don’t get much done but still feel exhausted and burned-out (from all the overwhelm you created in your mind and/or busy-work)
- You show up for yourself despite the fear and your inner critic. You acknowledge the fact that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. You realize that it’s much more important to get things done which often means doing “B- work” to keep moving forward. You know that you will only learn by taking consistent action and by putting yourself out there. At the end of the day, we don’t get better by overthinking things but by actually doing them.
5. Don’t pressure yourself with expectations
Another way to be stronger than your fears is to not set your expectations so high. From my experience, every time I put pressure on myself and have this expectation that I have to succeed right away nothing works.
We have been conditioned by society to be super attached to results and so often we don’t even realize how much this mindset is holding us back.
If you overwhelm yourself with expectations, this is what tends to happen:
- You feel disappointed when things don’t work out immediately/ not as quickly as you want them to
- You give up easily because not meeting the extremely high standards you set for yourself, makes you think that you’re a failure
- It makes you much less likely to actually enjoy the process and love what you do
What might also happen is that other people are projecting their expectations, fears and insecurities onto you. They may even do it unconsciously but it’s important for you to set boundaries.
6. Have a vision that goes beyond yourself
To me, a life purpose is something that goes beyond yourself, meaning that what you do is also helping people in some way and creating a positive impact.
Having a purpose and vision that goes beyond yourself makes you grow so much stronger and bolder because you are not doing it solely for you but primarily for other people. It’s more about having a positive impact on people’s lives with what you are doing.
I mean you will always experience phases of self-doubt but think of this:
There are people in this world who need you and your unique gifts. You could almost say that it’s egotistical to let your insecurities and fears prevent you from helping others.
It was only when I started to have a strong “why” that goes beyond myself that I became bolder.
Let your vision for your life be stronger than your fears & bigger than your insecurities.
I hope that this post will help you be bigger than your insecurities. I also hope that it inspired you to take action (even if it’s just a tiny action step). Just remember that it’s important to start somewhere and then go from there. Over time, it will compound into something amazing. Enjoy the process!
I’m sending you much love,